Approximately 24 minutes to read
This story made me:
almost 3 years ago Logan Koertje said:
Nice story. You did a nice job of telling the story and showing the emotion through your words and thoughts.
almost 3 years ago Lydia Nixon said:
I really like your writing style in this piece. You tell the readers how you feel, but you don’t go into long descriptions of feelings; you tell the story as objectively and simply as you are able to. Hemingway would be proud! There is certainly a time and place for long description, but this style works well for this piece because in itself it conveys the feeling of being withdrawn. Very well done!
The main thing to work on is the simple revising and editing process. The organization of this still felt a bit rough; there were places where it felt like you jumped from one part of the story to another. Work on reorganizing these ideas and polishing the transitions. Also, check back over for typos. Overall, very well done!