Approximately less than a minute to read
The short painful life of a animal destined for death in a mainstream farming system.
1 of the winners of the 2014 animal rights contest
animal rights winner
This story made me:
over 2 years ago Madeline Newman said:
I love this!!! I really do! I hate animal cruelty, it's a horrible thing.... This happens a lot, everyday, at large farms around the globe. The animals are born, taken from their mothers, given medications that make them "grow" unnaturally so that they are ready to be butchered by the time they are about a year old. What is truly sad is that they never are shown any sign of love.... Or even cared for properly.
No, I'm not Vegan, but I do love animals.
I live on a farm, we raise beef cattle and meat chickens, and if you haven't seen them, then you may as well say that we are cruel. But I promise you, a small farm like ours is in no way compared to the ones that raise the animals that end up at your local Walmart.
Thank you for writing this, I think it really shows people what happens at large "farms" across the world!!!
almost 3 years ago Stephanie S said:
This is for our swap. This was very, very powerful. I'm not a vegetarian but it's pieces like these that kind of...push me toward wanting to be one. I think cruelty against animals is terrible, and your poem illustrates it perfectly. It was very chilling, as well.
You had a few grammar errors, but as a whole I don't think it distracted from the piece.
almost 3 years ago KIWI said:
Very powerful story, I myself have thought the same - that its better off this way. The choppy narrative (pun not intended) matches the subject very well. Congratulations on winning. (Man the Food Inc flashbacks D:)
almost 3 years ago Katarina Skye said:
That was depressing but, like Amber said, eye-opening. I liked the words the people were saying and how you did that. It was short, but it most certainly got the point across. I don't have any suggestions, so great job!
almost 3 years ago Ari said:
First off, thanks again for the cover :)
Okay this was a very powerful piece! I love the way you've broken each line up so it gives a stilted delivery, almost how I'd imagine our last thoughts would be like before we died.
As with the other review- I also belive Inhumane and Undignified are one word.
Also, the line where it says "Let them Free", it feels a little awkward. Maybe "Set them Free" or "Let them be Free" or something?
Then the line where it mentions the people inside the walls, you don't need 'the workers' in the brackets because it takes away from the......punchiness? of the line and I think it's implied anyway.
So yeah, just those few things but other than that it is amazing, in a sad and introspective sort of way.
about 3 years ago Angelina Montanari said:
This was really sad :O thats just terrible!
I found some errors but you don't have to change them they are just suggestions:
the fourth sentence you wrote, "Un Dignified" I believe undignified is one word not two. Inhumane is one word also.
Other then that this is such a good (but really sad) story you wrote. It captures the fear of what is going on and the way you wrote it sentence paragraphs adds to the intensity and the emotion. Good job ^^