Approximately 10 minutes to read
More of a confession than a short story.
*Cover done by DJV*
Writing, Short Story, Non-Fiction
This story made me:
over 3 years ago Sammi L. said:
This is an incredibly powerful piece. I like the little notions in the first part –I can relate to those. There were very few errors (just a little bit of awkward phrasing and tense issues). The use of because was effective, but started to get a little repetitive after the first few paragraphs. But overall, this is well written and the sentences flowed smoothly. Also, like another comment stated, you're not alone; there are so many people who would understand what your going through and be willing to help. Anyways, this was a very emotive piece; good job.
over 3 years ago Kayla Marie said:
First, just as an irrelevant side not, you're not alone. And to be completely honest, I know exactly what you're talking about. I mean it when I say I know how you're feeling. I've been through probably more than half of what you've written down. Thank you for sharing your feelings with us. And please know that all of us are here for you. If you ever* need someone to understand or someone to talk to, talk to me, honestly.
There's a few awkward tenses and sentences. But those could easily be fixed by re-reading this piece. You let the reader feel the emotion and pain you felt as you wrote this and went through these past events, that's good. Your writing flows. And this is the first piece, in a good couple weeks, that's made me cry on here. It's scary that this shit happens. And I'm truthfully sorry that you experience this. It's even more scary that I get exactly what you wrote down. Stay strong and keep writing x
over 3 years ago Geneva Young said:
This is excellent! I'm quite blown away by this confession. It's rather melancholic, yet sweet at the same time.
over 3 years ago GigiBee said:
This was really good! I don't even have a whole lot to say, except that since it's a "confession", I'm really sorry about your situation. I think you should definitely keep writing if it helps you work through things. Great job!
over 3 years ago KadiMaeSpear said:
I like this and I like that you took the time to write a confessional but the sentence are worded strangely and most of them aren't' complete sentences but fragments. So, if you go back and reword those and maybe add a little more than "because" to them it will be awesome!
over 3 years ago Lily K. said:
Astonishment. Disbelief. Admiration. Jealousy. Heartache. Companionship.
I feel every one. Astonishment that you put that into words. Disbelief of how every word you wrote resounded in my heart because I didn't expect your words to be just like mine. Admiration because of your bravery to post that leave yourself bare. Jealousy because I wish that I could have been the one to write that. Heartache because I want you hug you, because my memories won't let me forget, and because you understand. Companionship because I've never met anyone who knew my most inner thoughts without ever hearing them.
I am so sorry that all I can say is I'm sorry because I know that it does shit for you and no amount of sorries will ever change anything even if you secretly like to hear them. "The doorbell won't open the door but it sure sounds nice when you hear it." And I am sorry that you have no one because even if you have friends they can't hear the sadness that echoes in your heart. They give you love that comes with real parents. Honestly, I am just really really sorry.
So. Thank you for letting me read that.