Approximately half a minute to read
A short poem I wrote while in study hall. I don't enjoy it much. I am open to all suggestions on it and will make changes to it based on suggestions left by you.
This story made me:
over 1 year ago Claire said:
loved the blunt simplicity of it, once the child has a name, an identity, it can never go back. Very deep and it made me want to cry and smile all at the same time. Keep on pulling at those heart strings ;P
almost 2 years ago Audrey Manners said:
I really enjoyed this! It shows your stand on the world pretty quickly, even if you didn't mean for it too. Somebody already said this, but the ending was abrupt. I don't think the poem require revision as far as length goes. But maybe a clearer end.
about 2 years ago Abigail Mclemore said:
wow so so true, I lvoed this. I never thought about it. People just have names dont they? haha Not for those few brief minutes when they're born. Awesome poem
about 2 years ago Mækir Vilemist said:
Loss of innocence is always quite dark, but in this case, it is also quite insightful...
about 2 years ago Zoë Aiko said:
This is a lovely poem. Not exactly my usual cup of tea, but you did a very nice job with the capitalization of certain letters. I would suggest that you put more imagery into your work. Other than that, nice job!
over 2 years ago Lila said:
This is a beautiful, silent, and powerful poem that is startlingly true. I love the word choice especially the word "sinlessness". I'm not sure if it is in the dictionary but this one word gave power to the unknown and regret to the known. This is beautiful and I will check in regularly for more work.