Approximately half a minute to read
A poem that randomly popped into my head. This is also very personal to me. It's about how I wish I could remember more memories of my sister. I lost her from a car-accident and the memories are starting to fade away.
Drama, Fantasy, Poetry
This story made me:
5 months ago Zombie Zoe said:
That is so sad! I can tell it came straight from your heart. There were some spelling errors, however, like "your" when you meant "you're" and such. Also, it didn't seem to follow any kind of rhyme scheme. I'm a little hesitant to critique since I can tell you just wrote it (maybe went over it a little) and then immediately posted it to Figment, and it's such a personal poem. But that's just my two cents.
about 1 year ago Xavier Kent said:
I liked this. You could maybe expand your word choice a bit more and add some complexity to this poem to make it a little better. There should be a space between 'best' and 'friend'. Otherwise, it wass fine.
about 1 year ago Kirsten said:
This is a lovely poem and I love the rhyming scheme and overall flow. I'm deeply sorry in regards to loosing your sister. I have a littler brother, and I can't imagine going through what you have. This poem is breathtaking and extremely saddening. Beautiful work! :)
about 1 year ago Daisy Dardon said:
awww D; That was sad lol
11 months ago Amicus (steffy) said:
Interesting. I like it. You have to think a little bit to get the overall meaning, and it's a very nice poem. Please, continue writing pieces like this.
(Swap for lunar Mage.)
about 1 year ago Brian Bennett said:
A saddening little poem, but I think it could be a bit... Deeper? I'm sure it's very personal, but usually personal poems are a little more esoteric and this seemed very generic. The structure (or lack thereof) served no purpose and is just there. I feel it could benefit from a more flow-y and streaming structure, rather than line -break- rhyme -break-.