Far Away

1 chapter / 678 words

Approximately 3 minutes to read

Description:

Rogue CIA agent Ava Peterson has been on the run from the authorities for three months now. The last mission her parents were sent on was sabotaged, leading to their deaths. Will Ava have what it takes to get the revenge she needs? Or will she be played, like so many agents before her?

Genres: Action, Drama, Short Story

Tags: agents rogue on the run revenge cia sabotage

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Comments {47}

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Dscn3188_4

over 4 years ago Samantha Chaffin said:

This is great! Have you thought about expanding it into a longer story? I think it would make a great novel. :) Ava is an awesome character, super hardcore and immediately likable. I just wish there was more to read!

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over 5 years ago Amy Kayleigh Coxon said:

Interesting plot:D I liked it, although I do love a bit of teenage girl drama type of stories:D It was good, dangerous and daring, I love it:D

Project_633247

over 5 years ago Caleb James Pecue said:

I hearted. :) Please heart - http://figment.com/books/340344-Monster-Go-Round if you haven't already.

3yblvefkk

over 5 years ago tiffany williams said:

You should continue this becasue it's amazing and it's my sort of thing. I love you character and the way she thinks. Ava & Bella (my character) or even Lucy would get on so well. Loved this and hope to read more of your work soon, well thought out and well written. Good job.

Reviews {14}

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Kk12

almost 5 years ago Kira Kay said:

So the first three paragraphs seemed not completely choppy, but not exciting. To delve further into details for me basically means, the lines were short, long, short; the pace was repetitive and pretty irritating. “The lid of my suitcase slammed closed and I lugged it off the bed and down the hall. I threw open the front door, leaving the temporary home I had made for myself behind. I threw my stuff into the trunk of my unidentifiable white Ford Tempo.” That part of the paragraph has no details. It is all show. In this sentence fragment form. I want to know the scenery, the narrator’s emotions, and the reason why she’s leaving before you even tell it. An example of how to do this: “I could hear the clack as the buckles on my suitcase slammed shut, my annoyed grunt following as I picked it up and threw open the front door. I knew leaving the makeshift temporary home would be difficult for me, as the white picket fence and the freshly cut green grass made it seem like I had a normal life but still kept me perfectly hidden struck a chord inside me, filled with emotionless space. I threw my meager belongings into the trunk of my unidentifiable white Ford Tempo, ready to find a new place to fill my void.” You don’t need to use this actual paragraph (though if you do, please credit me in the description), but do you see the difference that detail, emotion and description make? Not only does it intrigue the reader more, but I am far less confused on what’s going on and want to learn more about what is going on with this character. Overall, I tend to like espionage and fantasy over your average romance novel, but this story seemed pretty cliche for me. I didn’t find anything unexpected or the desire to read more. BUT! Don’t fret! Simply just add some more detail, description and emotion to the whole story and write in an unexpecting twist to capture your audience and keep them there. I hope I didn’t offend you in any way, one of my fortes is speaking the honest truth and not just giving an emotionless heart. :)

Thanks for the cover for "Temptation"; hope this review suffices as payment :)

Flower

over 5 years ago tocatchyourdreams said:

Oh...My...GOSH!!! That was AMAZING!!! The writing was smooth and it flowed together so well. The plot is amazing, and I LOVE your writing style! There weren't any spelling errors, but there were a few things about punctuation that I think you could fix. Such as:

Things like, whenever they...

could be:

Things like whenever they...

And:

That's the thing about being an insider, you learn stuff.

could be:

That's the thing about being an insider: you learn stuff.

I don't know, those are only suggestions. You can ignore them, if you think it would help.

But anyways, PLEASE tell me you are continuing this!! It is simply amazing, and I REALLY NEED to know what happens next! NEED!! Anyways, to say it's a "great start" is an understatement.

;)

goddessgirl

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