Approximately 10 minutes to read
I just lost my dad. Hes gone. Walked out maybe. I don't know. I refuse to believe it. He would never do that . Why did he leave me and mother here by ourselves. How will I live with out him. Hes my father.And I'll love him forever.
Writing, Romance, Short Story
This story made me:
about 1 year ago Adriel Valarien said:
Wow.... This is so good! I loved it!
about 1 year ago rhcplove31 said:
very good! i would add a little more detail, but overall i thought it was great! keep up the good writing!
about 1 year ago B.C. Doyle said:
I LOVE it!!!
about 1 year ago Eriny Hany said:
This was so emotional and I was all chilly all over . Please write more and keep your good style .
about 1 year ago afternoontea said:
I definitely love where you went with this, it was very touching. Might I just suggest, that you should really read over it to fix some grammer, and perhaps elaborate on the characters or add more memories that would really add personality to the story. It would be interesting for you to make a difference in writing style between the younger letters and older letters you know? Make them seem more mature and proper as the girl gets older. Other than that, it's on the right track! Good job.
about 1 year ago Alex said:
I'm not one for weepy stories, never was. Yet something drew me to this one story. There's something about your writings, I can't quite place a finger one it but you always find a way to keep the readers attention and toy with their emotions while at it. Your ideas are creative, imaginative and just amazing to say the least.
But everything needs a polish. Your story is raw, whether it is a jewel or rot, that is your decision, but that does not deny the fixies that egg readers.
Personally, I believe you character to be at a age that may be a little to young. It makes it a little difficult to concentrate on the rest thinking that she still remembered her fathers absence at age 4. I've grown up in two houses and parents at mutual agreements. I should know about these things happening at a young age, I was six when it happened, my sister was four. She remembers nothing which I believe is a blessing.
Give your character a few more years in age. She will still keep her innocence that you implied in the beggining of the story. Also, you may want to keep an eye on grammatical errors... ;)