Approximately half a minute to read
kind of a jealousy/wishful thinking poem about a girl with a crush on a guy who's with another girl
**INSPIRED BY CHRIS BROWN SONG "she aint you"
crush on a guy
This story made me:
almost 6 years ago Rachel W ❤ said:
Very powerful emotions. Loved it!
almost 7 years ago Ami Chan said:
That was really well-done. I really love your language in this.
about 6 years ago Michelle S. said:
This was good. I liked the way you portrayed that feeling of "Why her?" that is often felt while on the unpleasant side of an unrequited relationship. Great job! :)
about 6 years ago Gina Gibson said:
I can empathize with the narrator's feelings well. Nice word choice. :)
about 6 years ago not in use said:
Fantastic! It's message is clear, and is laced with emotion. I sympathise with the narrator, and I like how you connect it with the modern world. It flows pretty well, and I enjoyed reading it! Good job :)
over 6 years ago Alison L. said:
I thought the beginning was really good, but it sort of lost its impact for me towards the end as I thought maybe the language was a little too...crude. The beginning has a wistful, sort of lilting air and the second one is just..full head on. Especially the bit about fakers and the facebook. Maybe you could work around those ideas and just make it a little more ambiguous? You can DEFINITELY still use those words because I know what you're trying to get at, but..i don't know. Just..polish it up a little?
Okay. That was the constructive criticism part, the GOOD part is that I enjoyed reading it! :) Well done!