The Dark Triad

13 chapters / 31589 words

Approximately about 3 hours to read

Description:

Set in a dystopian society, eight teenagers are arrested and sent to a prison that looks almost like its own town. Only, they're the only eight people there. In addition to navigating through the complex governmental justice system, they have to fight for their own freedom. But are they willing to pay the price of freedom and leave their friends behind?

Genres: Dystopian, Mystery, Novel

Tags: dystopia prison caves lies mystery secrets

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3 months ago Mark Doby said:

You GO GIRL! Love Love the story. Will keep reading and meet you back here soon. Synchronize watches.....Go!

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4 months ago Ayumi Tomi said:

I plan on reading further, but as far as the prologue, that's just dirty. I really feel bad for Elliot. It's terrible, but it does make for some great storytelling. Way to keep that anticipation up. I keep wondering "what's gonna happen? What's he gonna do?" It's great stuff and I really need to make some time to finish up here. :D

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4 months ago Dusty Parrish said:

New conspiracy theory strand! (I'm going back and re-reading things so sorry if this gets super long or convoluted in any way: Includes Chapter 1 and 4 information primarily)...

Why do think Sidonie thinks Gabe is trying to sleep with her [Mya] (or whether you think she [Sidonie] has reason to exaggerate)?:

(Chapter 1) I do find it a bit odd that she was SO persistent in trying to get Mya to go to this party when clearly she's never really been like that before. She goes off on this huge [political] tangent about why they should be safe to go and whatnot and Mya even says "When did you get so political?" But then Sidonie just brushes it off. I find this a bit strange going back and re-reading this.

Ah, so in Sidonie's super confusing drama-filled story she mentioned that she started talking to Gabe. " One of my neighbors, Gabe, lives just over the border. I usually don’t talk to him, since he goes to the private school, but we saw each other a little bit ago, and we started talking..." then she goes on to explain what Gabe had heard about the happenings of this particular party and why she wanted to go so bad.

I'm wondering if something they had talked about was what makes Sidonie say what she does in chapter 4... I'm not really sure what he could have said, though, in chapter 4 there's this little bit:

“Seriously? That’s so cool! I don’t even know where I’m working yet. The head official was really vague when she explained it. I know it’s inside the government building somewhere though.”

"As…what? I didn’t think they’d give you a job assignment.”

Mya raised her eyebrows, defensively crossing her arms. “…why not?” she hesitated.

“Oh, I don’t know. I didn’t mean to offend you sorry, it’s not that big of a deal. I just didn’t think they’d make you, or Sid, work like us.” If Mya were more like Sidonie, she would have pressed harder. She knew her friend would have taken down Gabriel for being sexist, prejudiced, stupid – whatever.

So basically I'm wondering if Gabe ended up saying something like that, offending Sidonie, leading her to believe he was sexist, prejudice, and stupid or whatever so basing off her interaction with him she was warning Mya about what could potentionally happen or something?

DUDE!!! I just got an idea... What if Sidonie is in on like ALL of this. What if she's supposed to be an instigator or something, meant to stir up trouble between everyone, make everyone paranoid and suspicious that sort of thing. Try to see if she can entice the Dark Triad out of everyone. She's an extremely good actress so it would make sense, plus she seems a lot more calm than everyone else, almost like she knows the secret behind everything... Or at least she THINKS she does... O.O Idk maybe I'm reading too much into things xD I still love her character so much and want to know more about her. I do think she was exaggerating with things in Chapter 4 though and that's sort of my theory as to why she would blow everything out of proportion  (to entice certain behavior in people) O.O

(Oops, I sort of just answered your last question first xD)

Did information in this chapter [chapter 4] change any of the theories you had before?:

Hmm... I don't think so...? At least not yet... I still think Spencer had something to do with Levi since there seems to be missing time with him being in the room and being found by the police (maybe that's just the way I'm reading it though?) And I do think Sidonie might still have a connection with Elliot from the prologue (hey, who knows maybe they're in on everything together *dramatic piano key smasging* What? I never said I could play the piano xD *adjusts collar of shirt nervously* I seriously hope I didn't break that piano O.O) ANYWAYS...

I think, if anything it gave me a new theory about Sidonie to add to the old one (as explained above)

I'm left with even more questions (that I'm still trying to piece together) examples: What exactly happened at that party? Why is it that only 8 of them were arrested? On top of that, being the ONLY 8 that WEREN'T doing anything wrong (at least as far as we know)?

who do you trust, if anyone?:

*nervous cackling* I'm not sure I DO trust anyone at this point, not even Mya as the narrator xD

In this chapter we didn't see Levi, but I am sort of trusting him for the moment, which could probably change in the next chapter xD Honestly I'm rooting for him, right now him and Sidnoie (even though I've become SUPER suspicious of her) are still my favorites...

You know VERY well how much me and my review demon dislike Spencer, so it's pretty much a given that I don't trust the little snoggerfluff. xD

I think at this point Sidonie is acting extremely suspicious  (and re-reading is sort of further spiking my suspicions of her again as stated above)

I do trust what Gabe has said so far, though I think he's holding something important back which I'm also rather suspicious of, like I seriously want to know what/why he's holding back what he knows.

Mya sort of hints that she might be losing it because you can hallucinate if you were introduced to severe trauma (worded much better by you xD) so now the reader is left in this hazy cloud of do we trust her, or don't we? She seems rather intuitive, but she's also oblivious to other things because of her own bais...

I think those were all the characters mentioned in Chapter 4?

Why you think the rest of Spencer's friends act the way that they to toward Mya?:

I feel like they know how Spencer is and either know how he is with her or can SUSPECT how he is with her and they all seem to want to protect her from that. I feel like they all see her as this dainty delicate FLOWER (dude, maybe that's why there's a flower painted on her wall!) that they see as needing to be protected because she can't fend for herself or something?

I think that answers everything you asked? My mind is being angry and doesn't want to help me make any connections at the moment so I hope this makes sense. xD

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5 months ago Lauren Harrell said:

UGH. I hate how Figment throws everything into one giant paragraph! I'm sorry if it's confusing to read!

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about 1 month ago Sophia Edwards said:

To start off: Everything I write are my opinions, thoughts, emotions. You don’t have to take any advice that I give. I just think it’s helpful to see/read my reactions as I read your piece. If you have any questions about my notes, don’t hesitate to reach out to me and I’ll clarify. I’m sorry if my notes seem harsh…I’m just literally writing them as I would say it if I was explaining it to your face and the way I’m thinking about it in my head.

I never edit my notes after I write them, that way you get the feel of it as I’m reading (even if a question or concern is answered later on)

Don’t feel compelled to answer my questions or explain the things I’m confused about. I write for YOUR benefit and, explaining what you mean or answering my questions doesn’t improve your writing. My notes are made to help you go back and make edits so the next person doesn’t have the same questions. So really, you don’t have to write a comment to answer my questions (unless you really want to lol)!

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CHAPTER 6

She just started her job. In “prison” why would she assume that she’s released?

Isn’t she in a cave? How are there leaves, and enough to rustle? Maybe describe the cave a bit more if you aren’t just going to make it a rock dome.

BTW I like all the questions. They are similar questions the reader has.

Why did she automatically assume it’s Spencer? It could’ve been anyone from Sidonie to Gabe to even a worker from the government.

“Unless we’re not alone” would give more of a punch if it was its own paragraph.

I’m also noticing that a lot of your paragraphs are very short and clipped. Maybe add a bit more detail and description to even it the lengths.

If Mya was close enough that they could grab her wrist, I’m sure she could see a bit of the person, description wise.

Mya is acting strangly calm for such a jumpy person. This guy grabbed her arm and pulled her into a bush. He must be strong. And after what Sidonie said earlier about the other guy (can’t remember his name, but not Spencer), I’d think she’d be more cautious. At least yelp or something as she is pulled into the leaves.

“…loud voice that boomed like an earthquake” I like that description

When she says “Pyrce” I kind of wish you described him. For example, “Peering out, Mya saw the blonde haired and strong shoulders of the boy Rhys was hiding from. But why he was hiding from Pyrce, the boy who hosted the part, confused her.” Or something like that. I forgot how he looked like so a brief description would help me picture it.

I also like how varied your sentences are, in terms of structure.

You should also italicize “at” in “aren’t you at all concerned about this?”

If Mya’s a teenager girl and has been around boys (or people) for more than 5 minutes, she should know that teens threaten to kill each other all the time as a joke. It shouldn’t be that scary.

Obviously, it’s enclosed…it’s a prison.

But I like how you justified her question with her reasoning behind escaping. I kind of wish there was more here, but I get it.

I did like the dialogue/interaction with Pryce when he saw her. It was very believable.

Maybe because Rhys is the name as SJM’s character in ACOTAR, but I totally imagined this pale, black haired skinny kid. Not dirty blonde. Maybe give us some physical descriptions (in tidbits) earlier.

Why in the hell is Sid baiting him by telling him anything? She knows he’s in a mood. Is she trying to pick a fight? Why not just walk towards Mya?

Making Mya watch and doing nothing as Sid becomes physically abused for no reason makes me hate Rhys almost as much as I hate Pryce.

Wait, so Pryce did something to scar Rhys when he was mad like this and the explanation calms Mya down? I would’ve lost it, thinking he would hurt Sid the same way. It would’ve made me fight harder to get to her.

I seriously would’ve killed Pryce for putting a hand on my friend like that. I’m getting so riled up reading this. Like my hands are shaking. I’m not one for physical abuse in general, but I can handle reading it. But when people do nothing, it makes my blood boil. I’m absolutely furious ( on the plus side, it shows that I’m completely involved in your story since I have all of these real emotions).

Pryce better not get a redemption arc. I want him dead.

Rhys neither. He just watches this happen to people after causing the mess. I don’t care how happy it makes him to watch Pryce pissed, if innocent people getting hurt is the result, I’m not for it.

I like the information on Gabe and his ex. I feel like it’ll come into play more in the future (or hope so). But the way the conversation ended was a bit weird and abrupt. If that was your goal, good job. If not, then maybe work on that section.

Overall good job! Keep writing!

Kelsey chow

2 months ago Nocturne said:

Chapter 12

“They wouldn’t tell them anymore” - ? OHH do you mean, “They wouldn’t tell the prisoners anything else”? Maybe rephrase your sentence to something to that effect

He’s doing this because it’s all part of the plan to make you go insane Mya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe they’ll make Asher a lab rat too

“I don’t think any of this is a coincidence” oh no shit sherlock

Sure but if Mya asks Asher they could be WATCHING LIKE THEY ALWAYS HAVE

“If I wouldn’t have gone off on Gabe and made him leave us that morning, maybe this wouldn’t have happened.” exactly what I was thinking

OMG what if there are chemicals in the air that made Gabe pass out and fall?

Oh crap there is actually someone else there with her huh?

Wait, why does she decide to bury the bracelet? What’s her reasoning?

Oh nevermind, later in the para you indicate why. Maybe move that reasoning to before she thinks, “I could bury it.” cuz it felt random

I thought Mya was just imagining Gabe diving off the edge? Cuz her gasping and leaning against the wall sounds like she saw an ACTUAL apparition of him diving. Maybe lessen her reaction since it’s only just her mind imagining the worst

WAIT IS THAT AN ACTUAL APPARITION OF HIM????

Oh nevermind, she’s just imagining it. The way you wrote it sounded like she literally saw him. Idk, to make it clearer you could say “She pictured him back on the edge”

“He’s down here, or, well, someone is at least” - but can’t she tell if that’s Asher? And I read later to see that it is in fact Asher. So she must be certain that it’s Asher, not someone else

“wasn’t COMPLETELY related to his death” okay now this is interesting

….Or maybe Asher is lying….

“She has been for a while” OKAY BUT WHAT EXACTLY??? I NEED TO KNOWWWWWWW

COME ONNNNNNNN what an awful cliffhanger!!!!! (by awful I mean so good that I HATE it)

Okay, so this chapter didn’t explain A THING. Asher was still being vague about the whole “protecting her” thing, and his reasoning about Gabe feeling that way was soooo poor. You don’t just care about a random girl you don’t know and try to protect her!! What the HELL is going on???

I’m starting to see Sid more negatively now, mostly because she hasn’t told her best friend anything that’s even true. And at least this chapter confirmed that Sid’s weird relationship with Gabe has something to do with all this.

I honestly hope everything will be explained soon, at least in the next chapter. And hopefully by then we won’t have any more surprise deaths or random arguments in hallways or people admitting to guilt!! I want my damn answers!!!!!!!!!!

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