The Dark Triad

12 chapters / 28550 words

Approximately about 2 hours to read

Description:

Set in a dystopian society, eight teenagers are arrested and sent to a prison that looks almost like its own town. Only, they're the only eight people there. In addition to navigating through the complex governmental justice system, they have to fight for their own freedom. But are they willing to pay the price of freedom and leave their friends behind?

Genres: Dystopian, Mystery, Novel

Tags: dystopia prison caves lies mystery secrets

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7 days ago Mei said:

I plan on reading further, but as far as the prologue, that's just dirty. I really feel bad for Elliot. It's terrible, but it does make for some great storytelling. Way to keep that anticipation up. I keep wondering "what's gonna happen? What's he gonna do?" It's great stuff and I really need to make some time to finish up here. :D

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13 days ago Dusty Parrish said:

New conspiracy theory strand! (I'm going back and re-reading things so sorry if this gets super long or convoluted in any way: Includes Chapter 1 and 4 information primarily)...

Why do think Sidonie thinks Gabe is trying to sleep with her [Mya] (or whether you think she [Sidonie] has reason to exaggerate)?:

(Chapter 1) I do find it a bit odd that she was SO persistent in trying to get Mya to go to this party when clearly she's never really been like that before. She goes off on this huge [political] tangent about why they should be safe to go and whatnot and Mya even says "When did you get so political?" But then Sidonie just brushes it off. I find this a bit strange going back and re-reading this.

Ah, so in Sidonie's super confusing drama-filled story she mentioned that she started talking to Gabe. " One of my neighbors, Gabe, lives just over the border. I usually don’t talk to him, since he goes to the private school, but we saw each other a little bit ago, and we started talking..." then she goes on to explain what Gabe had heard about the happenings of this particular party and why she wanted to go so bad.

I'm wondering if something they had talked about was what makes Sidonie say what she does in chapter 4... I'm not really sure what he could have said, though, in chapter 4 there's this little bit:

“Seriously? That’s so cool! I don’t even know where I’m working yet. The head official was really vague when she explained it. I know it’s inside the government building somewhere though.”

"As…what? I didn’t think they’d give you a job assignment.”

Mya raised her eyebrows, defensively crossing her arms. “…why not?” she hesitated.

“Oh, I don’t know. I didn’t mean to offend you sorry, it’s not that big of a deal. I just didn’t think they’d make you, or Sid, work like us.” If Mya were more like Sidonie, she would have pressed harder. She knew her friend would have taken down Gabriel for being sexist, prejudiced, stupid – whatever.

So basically I'm wondering if Gabe ended up saying something like that, offending Sidonie, leading her to believe he was sexist, prejudice, and stupid or whatever so basing off her interaction with him she was warning Mya about what could potentionally happen or something?

DUDE!!! I just got an idea... What if Sidonie is in on like ALL of this. What if she's supposed to be an instigator or something, meant to stir up trouble between everyone, make everyone paranoid and suspicious that sort of thing. Try to see if she can entice the Dark Triad out of everyone. She's an extremely good actress so it would make sense, plus she seems a lot more calm than everyone else, almost like she knows the secret behind everything... Or at least she THINKS she does... O.O Idk maybe I'm reading too much into things xD I still love her character so much and want to know more about her. I do think she was exaggerating with things in Chapter 4 though and that's sort of my theory as to why she would blow everything out of proportion  (to entice certain behavior in people) O.O

(Oops, I sort of just answered your last question first xD)

Did information in this chapter [chapter 4] change any of the theories you had before?:

Hmm... I don't think so...? At least not yet... I still think Spencer had something to do with Levi since there seems to be missing time with him being in the room and being found by the police (maybe that's just the way I'm reading it though?) And I do think Sidonie might still have a connection with Elliot from the prologue (hey, who knows maybe they're in on everything together *dramatic piano key smasging* What? I never said I could play the piano xD *adjusts collar of shirt nervously* I seriously hope I didn't break that piano O.O) ANYWAYS...

I think, if anything it gave me a new theory about Sidonie to add to the old one (as explained above)

I'm left with even more questions (that I'm still trying to piece together) examples: What exactly happened at that party? Why is it that only 8 of them were arrested? On top of that, being the ONLY 8 that WEREN'T doing anything wrong (at least as far as we know)?

who do you trust, if anyone?:

*nervous cackling* I'm not sure I DO trust anyone at this point, not even Mya as the narrator xD

In this chapter we didn't see Levi, but I am sort of trusting him for the moment, which could probably change in the next chapter xD Honestly I'm rooting for him, right now him and Sidnoie (even though I've become SUPER suspicious of her) are still my favorites...

You know VERY well how much me and my review demon dislike Spencer, so it's pretty much a given that I don't trust the little snoggerfluff. xD

I think at this point Sidonie is acting extremely suspicious  (and re-reading is sort of further spiking my suspicions of her again as stated above)

I do trust what Gabe has said so far, though I think he's holding something important back which I'm also rather suspicious of, like I seriously want to know what/why he's holding back what he knows.

Mya sort of hints that she might be losing it because you can hallucinate if you were introduced to severe trauma (worded much better by you xD) so now the reader is left in this hazy cloud of do we trust her, or don't we? She seems rather intuitive, but she's also oblivious to other things because of her own bais...

I think those were all the characters mentioned in Chapter 4?

Why you think the rest of Spencer's friends act the way that they to toward Mya?:

I feel like they know how Spencer is and either know how he is with her or can SUSPECT how he is with her and they all seem to want to protect her from that. I feel like they all see her as this dainty delicate FLOWER (dude, maybe that's why there's a flower painted on her wall!) that they see as needing to be protected because she can't fend for herself or something?

I think that answers everything you asked? My mind is being angry and doesn't want to help me make any connections at the moment so I hope this makes sense. xD

Screen shot 2017-07-14 at 1.30.15 pm

about 1 month ago Lauren Harrell said:

UGH. I hate how Figment throws everything into one giant paragraph! I'm sorry if it's confusing to read!

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about 1 month ago Dusty Parrish said:

(Conspiracy) Theory time! xD (For Chapter 2) Sorry if it's jumbled I'm writing as I think of everything:

Government: This is a bit of a tough one that I'm still trying to piece together. Given the title and the fact that you mentioned it was going to get super psychological I'm wondering if this is all some sort of large-scale social experiment?

I feel like the government is playing puppet master with the citizens and using both real (if you can completely call them that) as well as false statements to test how an individual will react to such accusations. Will they be willing to defy an authority figure or will they try to comply to stay out of trouble? How far will they go to save themselves and will they be willing to bring other people down with them?

I feel like they're trying to test the limits of these people and are trying to figure out if humans are inherently 'evil' so to speak (possessing traits in the dark triad) or if they are 'good' and will be able to overcome things like the dark triad (to fight against their true nature or something along those lines.) Will a person give in to temptation for these dark thoughts or will they fight against them (I guess might be a better way to word it?)

As I said, still trying to piece together the interworking's of this corrupt government but I know something is (obviously) wrong. Hopefully what I said here makes sense? xD

Levi's confession: This didn't sit right with me because it didn't seem to fit his character (or what I was interpreting his character to be I suppose would be a better way to word it xD)

So from when Mya first interacts with him: "Levi immediately smiled weakly, crossing his arms over his chest in slight embarrassment. "Hey Mya, is everything alright with you? The rest of us were together when they came but..." he trailed off.

From this reaction I almost get the feeling that he might have a slight crush on her? 1.) He immediately smiled when he saw her. 2.)The first thing he asks is "everything alright with you?"

I also feel like maybe he saw her and Spencer together? 1.) He's embarrassed and you aren't quite sure why, unless it's just because it's the first party she goes to and they all get caught though something tells me that's not quite what it is. 2.) He trails off when he says 'the rest of us were together when they came but...' from this (to me at least) is seems like maybe he knows where she was? And perhaps who she was with?

At the beginning of the chapter you mention that Spencer is gone but I'm not entirely sure WHEN he was gone or HOW he left (did he walk out on his own, was he taken out by the officers) it wasn't completely clear... I'm wondering, if he was escorted by the officers if he was somehow able to get away then he and Levi had a run-in...

In the room you say: "...but as he sat back down she caught a glimpse of the far side of his face and noticed it was bruised and cut."

This makes me believe that he was in a scuffle (added to his conviction) but from his reaction earlier I feel like maybe he found out about what happened with Spencer and Mya (and Levi likes her and knows how Spencer treats her or something as he seems to be rather observant) and lost his temper with Spencer, attacking him maybe?

You don't get to see Spencer all that well, so you don't know if he has any cuts or bruises. Hell, Levi could just be a crappy fighter and wasn't able to land any punches. But my last point with this is at the end with Spencer's conviction. SOMEONE is clearly playing favorites, I mean really? That's ALL he gets off with? That's so messed up. I'm just not quite sure WHY they're playing favorites with him or WHO exactly is favoring him.

Sidonie and Elliot connection: So when you mentioned the little girl at the beginning you say that she had blue eyes (and my guess is they would have to be pretty distinct since he was standing up on a podium with lights and whatnot shining in his face, but for some reason this little girl with blue eyes held his gaze captive.

I believe you mentioned that Sidonie has blue eyes, like distinctly blue ones (Mya has brown with a ring of blue around them) but from the sound of it the blue isn't really all that noticeable and from such a distance away (as I think I might have mentioned before? I'm not sure though xD) I don't think Elliot would have noticed a detail as minor as this one.

The prologue takes place nine years before the first chapter and so-on... The little girl was about half Elliot's age (which you mentioned as being sixteen... half of that would bring the little girl down to eight) then nine years later... So 8+9 would bring the little girl to the age of seventeen now, which seems to be around Mya and Sidonie's age.

Although the story is being told from Mya's point of view at the moment it sort of lines up with the first chapter being primarily from Elliot's. In both view points the little girl and Sidonie are these really intriguing characters. They don't get much screen time, but you can tell there's more than meet the eye to both of these characters and you can't help but be drawn to them, wanting to find out more. They way you describe both of them seems similar to me that fact that the little girl wasn't afraid and seemed to go against the norm for what he was witnessing from everyone else. The fact that Sidonie was the only one who wasn't freaking out when they were all taken in... They just seem really similar in character to me. And both seem curious to get to the bottom of everything that's going down...

Honestly I think Sidonie is quickly becoming one of my favorite characters next to Levi and Elliot. (I love Mya too, don't get me wrong, I'm just super curious to find out about Sidonie and Levi's stories.) ;3

Sorry if this comment got a bit long, and I hope it helps at least a bit or that my ramblings make sense. xD

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Sunrise

1 day ago Sophia Edwards said:

To start off: Everything I write are my opinions, thoughts, emotions. You don’t have to take any advice that I give. I just think it’s helpful to see/read my reactions as I read your piece. If you have any questions about my notes, don’t hesitate to reach out to me and I’ll clarify.

Overall opinion: I really liked this chapter. I think you did a great job introducing all of those characters in such a short amount of time. Every character felt understood and very well rounded. You have an amazing way of creating characters. I’m starting to understand the world you’ve created (with the barriers and the different people); it seems very similar to our society now. I’m interested to see where this goes. My only qualm was the last of physical descriptions. I’d love to know how everyone looked! I’m also interested in how this title is going to play in the piece. Really excited to keep reading!

Keep it up

Chapter 1:

Mya? Who is Mya?

I assumed she would be home if her parents aren’t there. I don’t think you need to add “In the comfort of her home”.

Why did a knock make her launch her fork? Oh, is she supposed to be skittish and anxious? …Nevermind

I’m in love with these names! They are so unique and great!

What made her curious? What was it about Sidonie saying “Tomorrow night” that sparked her curiousity?

Great introduction of Spencer. It felt very seemless. (But a little disappointed by how mundane his name is compared to the others).

If Pryce has these parties every weekend, why is it coming up now? Why is THIS one the one to go to? What is it about this party?

And I love this explanation about why the cops don’t care. It seems very authentic.

Mya and Sidonie have a great relationship and seem to balance each other out. Their relationship seems normal and real. Not at all forced. Great job!

THANK YOU MYA FOR ASKING THE QUESTION I WAS ASKING!

How does Sidonie know Pryce enough to get invited/asked to help her make sure Kaiden doesn’t go? I thought this was about Gabe.

I love this internal dialogue. I can totally imagine Mya’s soft spoken voice and her having the conversation in her head. This is really great!

“But she’s my friend[s] and I just…” → you need to take out the “s”

Spencer’s reaction is also really realistic. He seems to really care about Mya and isn’t just dating her to “slum” it with her; which was what I first thought

But then again, his protectiveness is also concerning. It kind of seems obsessive…maybe even abusive. Like why is he threatened by her friendships…well one friendship with Sid? I think that’s a red flag.

Mya’s naivety! I totally get it. How old are they all supposed to be? She seems young, like maybe 15/16 whereas Spencer is maybe a bit older.

Oh so is this communicator thing like skype? If so, I wish you described what she saw of him, that way we can get an idea on how this guy looks too.

HOW DOES MYA LOOK PHYSICALLY???? When she’s looking at herself in the mirror, that would’ve been a perfect opportunity to describe her (i.e. how the clothes feel on her (insert color of skin) skin, how the lace matches her hair or how the pink brings out the color of her eyes or something ).

…Nevermind… you just did it with the eye thing…

Maybe because I’m a woman of color, but I swear I thought Sidonie looked like a young Zoe Kravitz….not expecting blue eyed girl

Spencer’s jealous is getting annoying. Like he needs to grow up and stop being such a baby about it.

Mya’s anxiety seems totally normal and endearing. I can totally relate and I find that interesting

Levi’s description ==

I love the tenderness between Mya and Spencer. But how can she see his smile? Didn’t she say she couldn’t see. Maybe mention that her eyes adjusted.

Was that there first time having sex? It seems sweet and cute.

I like how you ended it. Super interested in what happens next chapter!

Blooming heart

2 days ago Vera Wolf said:

Review Chapter 1

"...able to enjoy one of her favorite meals in the solitary* comfort of her home..." "She was calm and relaxed" - very tell, try to show it a bit more "…made her launch her fork across the room" - usually this kind of reaction would imply some internal tension. Just something to consider. "Mya got her excited (not sure that's the right word yet) friend a glass of water" - a quick jump from the door to some unknown part of the house, unless Mya brought the glass to the door (setting gap). "We have to go to Pyrce's party" - this is kinda thrown out of nowhere, and without an context to base this off of, I'm a little confused as to why this party is so important - let alone demands their immediate attendance. An illegal request...I hope we get some justification for it xD "even if she also felt that Sidonie wasn't giving her much of a choice" - its called not giving in to Peer Pressure and just saying "No, I don't want to get arrested, thank you." (justify Sidonie's control over Mya) So are the parties illegal are not? Is that just how Mya views them, maybe because of certain illegal activities that happen there? Sidonie's dialogue seems to suggest their not necessary criminal activities. Why would Mya go just because Sidoine asked if she turned down her boyfriend, I still don't understand this control her friend seems to have over her. I might help to give us Mya's opinion of these parties, and what those opinions are based off before you throw Sidonie's view of them at the reader. The MC does appear to be Mya for this chapter after all, her internal opinion is more important. Why do I get the feeling that even though Pyrce has never gotten in trouble for his parties before, the minute Mya attends one things will go bad and she'll end up at the same 'prison' as the guy we met in the prologue... "Since when did you turn political" - having an opinion about someone because he was born into money is not the same thing as being political >.> "I couldn't* care less" (omit, also). "We can* enjoy a party without any trouble" - tenses Why is Mya so paranoid about being around her boyfriend when he's drunk. Is this based on some past trauma with her own family, or something she was exposed to in her neighborhood? (Justification) "...when you've never gone to one before..." - okay, this surprised me. I really want to know now too. Okay, the explanation (short version) made sense, even if it did seem a little too heavy handed.

"...attempting to eat dinner again. [paragraph break] It took her a lot longer..." I'm not sure why Spenser would be suspicious? I'm sure he's also part of the reason she wants to go, unless she cares more about her friend then her boyfriend. So Spenser and Sid don't like each other. Interesting. I wonder why. Yet another reason I don't get why Sid wants to go to this party. Is there some sort of weird love triangle going on. "He was always really possessive* of her..." - word choice. Sounds like he's not a really good boyfriend honestly. Why does he think Sid is not good for her? I still haven't reached an explanation as to why they don't like each other. "He loved her. That's all that should matter" - sounds like an abusive relationship in the making. "She had to trust that Sidonie was right" - right about what? I still don't even get why Sid is going to this party, it seems like it was just to get Mya to go so Spenser would go so Spenser’s friend would go...

"You're already gonna be breaking the rules." - so parties are illegal >.> The dress shopping part was kind of boring, and honestly didn't move the story forward. Her emotions and the dress description could be given at the party after all, I kept expecting Sid to drop something hint of a premonition or meet a new character. I'd omit it as the story could well survive the loss, but that's just a suggestion.

So the boyfriend's holding her hand, while her best friend has an arm around her. Why do I feel like the roles should be reversed? "Sidonie seemed to disappear..." - sentence reads awkwardly. Mya managed to nervously stammer,* "Nice to meet you." "…as he seemed to look her up and down" - I feel like it would be obvious if he were studying her, unless he's wearing sunglasses or something to mask his eyes. "She feared his joke was more serious than he played off" - oh but he's not possessive or controlling. *snicker* Why do I feel like Mya is checking out Siodine in that small, red dress? Why didn't we get an answer to Levi's question? So much for the wild party I was expecting (other than drinking it seemed pretty tame from the minimal description we were given). Still waiting for a shoe to drop (metaphorically). And wondering about the strange vibe between Mya and Siodine. Interesting characters so far.

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